Skip to content

Seedy Looking Thieves Pose For Camera, Pillage Convenience Store

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Nationalist Wire is dedicated to bringing you the news you need to stay informed and aware.

Position Summaries:

Full Write Up:

Please excuse the headline pun. We make no apology for the ones that follow.

Two store robbers left one owner rather melon-choly after they stole booze and other items from a central Virginia convenience store. While one suspect has been caught, police are hoping that the public can help identify his accomplice.

Wearing a watermelon rind as face mask, the two men pillaged the store and ran off with their ill-gotten goods after posing for some vanity shots in front of the security camera.

Justin Rogers, 20

Justin Rogers, 20, has been charged with larceny, underage possession of alcohol, and larceny while wearing a mask.

By the way, what do you call a watermelon that’s committing a robbery?

A waterfelon.

Why shouldn’t you trust a criminal watermelon?

They always look seedy.

What should these boys have done instead of steal from that store?

Use that “seed” money to try their hand at entrepreneurship. Now THAT would be using your melon. But that probably seemed like too much of a rind.

Okay, we’re done.

If you want to support independent journalism, please consider sharing our stories to your social media feeds.

Brett MacDonald

Brett MacDonald

Leave a Replay

About Us

Nationalist Wire is an independent news organization dedicated to providing breaking news and commentary on the events that matter most. Please refer to our ethics page for information on our editorial practices and our FAQ for any frequently asked questions.

Recent Posts

Follow Us

Sign up for our Newsletter

Stay informed! Our twice-weekly newsletter keeps our readers updated on the stories that matter most.